The New Theatre, Newtown
|
A brief history of the New Theatre in Newtown, NSW, from Wikipedia:
The New Theatre is a community theatre company in the Inner West Sydney suburb of Newtown, Australia. Established in October 1932, it is the oldest theatre company in continuous production in New South Wales. The New Theatre relies on its performers, directors, designers, and crew working as volunteers. … and from their website: https://newtheatre.org.au/ “New Theatre was born from a democratic voice and from the very beginning we’ve done things our way. “We’re not slick, we’re not refined and we don’t conform. We believe in artistic and social expression, not just escapism. When we take the stage, we’re for real. “Our doors are open to everyone – from those looking for their start, to those who never want it to end. “We’re a beacon for social movement; a hub for local enthusiasts. We’re driven by passion, not money. “We’re not interested in awards or accolades, we act out of love. “You can’t define us or second guess us. We won’t just invite you to take a seat, we invite you to take part. “And we’ll always stay true to what we do. “Always real. Always raw. Always New.” 
The New Theatre, Newtown, as it is today
|
The New Theatre, Newtown, as it was in 2000
Inside the New Theatre, Newtown, today
|
"Funny Business" Cabaret/Revues
Joining the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras festivities in 1998 with the first of a series of three cabaret-style revues was “No Funny Business” and was received with such resounding success that a second revue was scheduled for 1999.
After submitting “Lipstick” for consideration (and passed), the writer (me) was offered a co-writing position for that revue with Gina Schien under the leadership of Donna Abela to write the book for "Lots More Funny Business".
This revue, too, was very successful, possibly even more so than its predecessor so a third revue, "Life is a Funny Business", was scheduled for 2000, the year of the Sydney Olympics – “the best Olympic Games ever” according to IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch.
Taken from various sources, with acknowledgements wherever possible, below are details of those three productions.
After submitting “Lipstick” for consideration (and passed), the writer (me) was offered a co-writing position for that revue with Gina Schien under the leadership of Donna Abela to write the book for "Lots More Funny Business".
This revue, too, was very successful, possibly even more so than its predecessor so a third revue, "Life is a Funny Business", was scheduled for 2000, the year of the Sydney Olympics – “the best Olympic Games ever” according to IOC President Juan Antonio Samaranch.
Taken from various sources, with acknowledgements wherever possible, below are details of those three productions.
1998 - "No Funny Business"
|
Director:
Assistant Director: Stage Designer: Costume Designer: Dramaturg: Musical Directors: Choreographers: Lighting Designer: Production Manager: Stage Manager: Graphics: Cast: with |
Gill Falson
Elin O’Connell Tom Bannerman Kathryn Mount Donna Abela Betty Leone and George Torbay Greg Balcombe, Colleen Cook and Gill Falson Tony Youlden Julie Millard John Foster Cheryl Ward Drew Ashley Greg Balcombe Felicity Carter Colleen Cook Paul Flynn Steven Hands Daniel Hayward George Hoad David Jobling Samantha Leith Betty Leone Ronan McChesney Peter McGill Barrie McMahon Gabrielle Martinovich Naomi Palmer Rae Spratt Michael Withal Wendy Hill Elaine Hudson Elin O’Connell |
1998 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Poster created by David Corbet, Andrew Medhurst and Bryce Tuckwell, Design Nation
|
1999 - "Lots More Funny Business"
|
Directors:
Stage Designer: Costume Designer: Dramaturg: Writers: Lyrics: Musical Director: Choreographers: Lighting Designer: Sound Designer: Production Manager: Stage Manager: Graphics: Cast: |
Gill Falson with Colleen Cook and Pete Nettell
Tom Bannerman Vincenza Rossini Donna Abela Sue Bonaretti and Gina Schien Colleen Cook Betty Leone Colleen Cook with Greg Balcombe and Gill Falson Stephen Hawker Phil Carrick Julie Millard Donita Hulme Wayne Harris Marie Armstrong Greg Balcombe John Burdon Colleen Cook Brad Cooper Jenny Dibley Steven Hands Daniel Hayward Gertraud Ingeborg Leonie Jacques Romaine Lawley Ronan McChesney Paul McNiff Deborah Noonan Lisa Peers Charles Ryder Rajah Selvarajah Sarah Stevenson Jenene Watson Michael Withall |
Lots More Funny Business in the Sydney Morning Herald's Citysearch 1999
1999 Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras poster created by Wendy Neill and Tanja Dunster, 10 Design
|
1999 Lots More Funny Business review by the Jewish News
1999 Lots More Funny Business review by Sydney's SundayTelegraph
2000 - "Life is a Funny Business"
|
Directors:
Stage Designer: Costume Designer: Dramaturg: Writers: Lyrics: Musical Director: Choreographer: Lighting Designer: Sound Designer: Production Manager: Stage Manager: Cast: |
 2000 Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras Poster created by Marita Leuver, Leuver Design
Gill Falson with Lloyd King, Colleen Cook and Gertraud Ingeborg
Tom Bannerman Angie Berrigan Donna Abela Sue Bonaretti and Gina Schien with Colleen Cook, Ronan McChesney, Benjamin O’Reilly and Lloyd King Colleen Cook Andrew Davidson Danelle Denny Tony Youlden Betty Leone Michael Neaylon John Foster Marie Armstrong Greg Balcombe Colleen Cook Gill Falson Deborah Hanley Daniel Hayward Gertraud Ingeborg Lloyd King Betty Leone Ronan McChesney Benjamin O’Reilly Naomi Palmer Rajah Selvarajah Cameron Sharp Hazel Keziah Waters Michael Withall |
Playbill "Life is a Funny Business" 2000
|
|
|
Following is one of my contributions to the scripts produced by Donna, Gina and me for "Life is a Funny Business":
Act One Scene 6
Café. The two HOMELESS PEOPLE wander about and are promptly shooed away by GARY and MAX the waiters. They resume tidying up tables. Gary watches Max as he lays out the tableware etc. (Alternatively, the homeless get jostled during the dance routine at the end)
GARY: No, no, no, Max, more attitude. Imagine yourself as a cross between Julian Clary and Bette Davis. That's it, now you've got it.
MAX: A little over the top, don't you think?
GARY: No way! The more you poof it up the bigger the tip. Trust me.
MAX: I just hope my girlfriend doesn't see me - she wouldn't understand.
ZEUS and HERA enter.
HERA: You just can't help yourself, can you?
ZEUS: But dear…
HERA: If you're not turning yourself into a swan, or a snake, or Gaea knows what, to have it off with some nubile goddess, you're running after some
young mortal in Lycra shorts!
ZEUS: But Hera…
HERA: I'm sick of it, thousands of foundlings at the foot of my throne, all bearing your resemblance!
ZEUS: But…
HERA: The half-mortals aren't so bad, but the half-horses, the half-sheep…And how did you manage the half-humming bird? This has got to stop, Zeus!
MAX: Good afternoon, sir. Table for two?
ZEUS: Well, well, well…
HERA: Zeus! Your biggest table, young man. We're expecting guests.
MAX: (Touching her arm gently) Certainly, madam. This way, please. My name is Max and I'll be your waiter today.
Zeus and Hera watch Max mince his way to their table.
HERA: Oh. Nice young man.
ZEUS: A little too young for you, don't you think?
ARTEMIS, ARES, HESTIA and HERMES enter as the CHORUS.
CHORUS: Hail, Zeus! Hail, Hera!
ZEUS & HERA: Yeah, yeah, hail, hail.
The Chorus perv at waiters who may come & fuss over them. Chorus is impressed & randy.
CHORUS: Oooooooo…Oxford Street!
We'd no idea the youth 'round here were so succulent and brawny
With such plump "assets" and "castanets", they make us all quite…
GARY: Menu, sir?
CHORUS: Ahhhhhhh…how masculine! How manly! Abs sculpted to perfection!
Oh, how we'd like to help unwrap and fondle their…
MAX: Drink, madam?
CHORUS: Ohhhhhh…silken skin, taught and trim accentuates each ripple
Oh, how we'd like to wrap our tongue around a tasty…
MAX: Tiramisu? It's very good.
CHORUS: Anything the waiters bring we'd gladly take and suck on
The dishes are delicious here...
and we'd gladly have a serving of the tiramisu, thank you.
The waiters leave.
ZEUS: Now. About Sydney. Its fitness to host my games. What news?
CHORUS: Not good!
Your Games are meant for all to see
both rich and poor, equally
but every day the price to pay skyrockets.
The best seats to the best events
are pre-sold to wealthy gents
pissing plentifully in ticket sellers' pockets.
HERA: Oh no, they're rhyming again.
CHORUS: We have seen such shameless hawks
whose own kind they'd gladly pork
'cause there's a dollar to be had in it.
Not to mention the immoral lot
being sold as something they are not
profiting from the current fad in it.
HERA: Stop! This is outrageous!
CHORUS: The metropolis is rife with miscreants and…
HERA & ZEUS: Stop! Stop!
ZEUS: One at a time!
HERA: And no rhyme!
ZEUS: Artemis, you first.
ARES: That's right! Favourites first! Bitch.
ARTEMIS: Thanks, daddy. These mortals care nought for the natural beauty that surrounds them. Look what they've done to my cool, whispering
foreshores, to my shell-strewn beaches. And where are my meadows?
CHORUS: Tar and cement!
ARTEMIS: My crystalline streams?
CHORUS: Tar and cement!
ARTEMIS: Nothing but acres of
CHORUS: Tar and cement!
ARES: I say kill them all! Send war and pestilence!
HERMES: Oh Ares, get real! So they give the land a make-over… they prance and posture… Mere touch ups.
ZEUS: (watching the waiters who know they are being watched) Touch ups, yes…
HERA: Zeus!
HERMES: Good business if you ask me.
HESTIA: But isn't there conflict with Zeus' decree
that the Games should espouse authenticity?
CHORUS: Oh Hestia of hearth and home
our humble hearts you moderate.
You make our spirits light as foam
and our bosoms… lift and separate.
HERA: Let Hestia speak!
HESTIA: Truth appears to have been abducted by greed but we could be wrong, I mean, I think we should keep sniffing around
The waiters enter to serve, fuss and flaunt.
HERA: Yes Hestia, virgin most mild, whose good heart is immutable
we must keep sussing out this place for the mortals are quite rootable
ZEUS: Hera! Stop making a fool of yourself. They're queer! They'd rather sit in the lap of a god than a goddess. I'm sick of this! My Games may be put
to shame. Go forth and--
MAX: Hoe into a dumpling, sir. On the house.
ZEUS: Mmm…
CHORUS: The mighty Zeus has closed his court and bellowed his decision
that his great Games must not become an object of derision.
But, for now, he sips his cap complacent and content,
Wondering about those chaps, could they be really bent?
And, if they are, how big a tip will help access their freckles
Oh, damn, he's just realised that Hera holds all the shekels.
The waiters dazzle the Greeks with the waiter dance from Hello Dolly!
END
Act One Scene 6
Café. The two HOMELESS PEOPLE wander about and are promptly shooed away by GARY and MAX the waiters. They resume tidying up tables. Gary watches Max as he lays out the tableware etc. (Alternatively, the homeless get jostled during the dance routine at the end)
GARY: No, no, no, Max, more attitude. Imagine yourself as a cross between Julian Clary and Bette Davis. That's it, now you've got it.
MAX: A little over the top, don't you think?
GARY: No way! The more you poof it up the bigger the tip. Trust me.
MAX: I just hope my girlfriend doesn't see me - she wouldn't understand.
ZEUS and HERA enter.
HERA: You just can't help yourself, can you?
ZEUS: But dear…
HERA: If you're not turning yourself into a swan, or a snake, or Gaea knows what, to have it off with some nubile goddess, you're running after some
young mortal in Lycra shorts!
ZEUS: But Hera…
HERA: I'm sick of it, thousands of foundlings at the foot of my throne, all bearing your resemblance!
ZEUS: But…
HERA: The half-mortals aren't so bad, but the half-horses, the half-sheep…And how did you manage the half-humming bird? This has got to stop, Zeus!
MAX: Good afternoon, sir. Table for two?
ZEUS: Well, well, well…
HERA: Zeus! Your biggest table, young man. We're expecting guests.
MAX: (Touching her arm gently) Certainly, madam. This way, please. My name is Max and I'll be your waiter today.
Zeus and Hera watch Max mince his way to their table.
HERA: Oh. Nice young man.
ZEUS: A little too young for you, don't you think?
ARTEMIS, ARES, HESTIA and HERMES enter as the CHORUS.
CHORUS: Hail, Zeus! Hail, Hera!
ZEUS & HERA: Yeah, yeah, hail, hail.
The Chorus perv at waiters who may come & fuss over them. Chorus is impressed & randy.
CHORUS: Oooooooo…Oxford Street!
We'd no idea the youth 'round here were so succulent and brawny
With such plump "assets" and "castanets", they make us all quite…
GARY: Menu, sir?
CHORUS: Ahhhhhhh…how masculine! How manly! Abs sculpted to perfection!
Oh, how we'd like to help unwrap and fondle their…
MAX: Drink, madam?
CHORUS: Ohhhhhh…silken skin, taught and trim accentuates each ripple
Oh, how we'd like to wrap our tongue around a tasty…
MAX: Tiramisu? It's very good.
CHORUS: Anything the waiters bring we'd gladly take and suck on
The dishes are delicious here...
and we'd gladly have a serving of the tiramisu, thank you.
The waiters leave.
ZEUS: Now. About Sydney. Its fitness to host my games. What news?
CHORUS: Not good!
Your Games are meant for all to see
both rich and poor, equally
but every day the price to pay skyrockets.
The best seats to the best events
are pre-sold to wealthy gents
pissing plentifully in ticket sellers' pockets.
HERA: Oh no, they're rhyming again.
CHORUS: We have seen such shameless hawks
whose own kind they'd gladly pork
'cause there's a dollar to be had in it.
Not to mention the immoral lot
being sold as something they are not
profiting from the current fad in it.
HERA: Stop! This is outrageous!
CHORUS: The metropolis is rife with miscreants and…
HERA & ZEUS: Stop! Stop!
ZEUS: One at a time!
HERA: And no rhyme!
ZEUS: Artemis, you first.
ARES: That's right! Favourites first! Bitch.
ARTEMIS: Thanks, daddy. These mortals care nought for the natural beauty that surrounds them. Look what they've done to my cool, whispering
foreshores, to my shell-strewn beaches. And where are my meadows?
CHORUS: Tar and cement!
ARTEMIS: My crystalline streams?
CHORUS: Tar and cement!
ARTEMIS: Nothing but acres of
CHORUS: Tar and cement!
ARES: I say kill them all! Send war and pestilence!
HERMES: Oh Ares, get real! So they give the land a make-over… they prance and posture… Mere touch ups.
ZEUS: (watching the waiters who know they are being watched) Touch ups, yes…
HERA: Zeus!
HERMES: Good business if you ask me.
HESTIA: But isn't there conflict with Zeus' decree
that the Games should espouse authenticity?
CHORUS: Oh Hestia of hearth and home
our humble hearts you moderate.
You make our spirits light as foam
and our bosoms… lift and separate.
HERA: Let Hestia speak!
HESTIA: Truth appears to have been abducted by greed but we could be wrong, I mean, I think we should keep sniffing around
The waiters enter to serve, fuss and flaunt.
HERA: Yes Hestia, virgin most mild, whose good heart is immutable
we must keep sussing out this place for the mortals are quite rootable
ZEUS: Hera! Stop making a fool of yourself. They're queer! They'd rather sit in the lap of a god than a goddess. I'm sick of this! My Games may be put
to shame. Go forth and--
MAX: Hoe into a dumpling, sir. On the house.
ZEUS: Mmm…
CHORUS: The mighty Zeus has closed his court and bellowed his decision
that his great Games must not become an object of derision.
But, for now, he sips his cap complacent and content,
Wondering about those chaps, could they be really bent?
And, if they are, how big a tip will help access their freckles
Oh, damn, he's just realised that Hera holds all the shekels.
The waiters dazzle the Greeks with the waiter dance from Hello Dolly!
END